In Historic Holiday Letter, Trump Reminds Everybody How Much He’s Sacrificed for Them

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In a stirring Memorial Day Weekend Very Important Letter, Donald Trump showed how much patience he has for soldiers who have the audacity to die on the battlefield. -Photo by Reuters

THE WHITE HOUSE

Saturday, May 26, 2018, 7:09 a.m.

Because it is Memorial Day Weekend it is very important for you to know how I have selfishly sacrificed for my country to make it a better place for me and for all of you. That is why I am writing a second Very Important Letter this week. I could be out on the golf course or just lying around in the White House wondering where Ivanka is and watching Fox News and doing  nothing but maybe a little tweeting, but instead I am hear typing this Very Important Letter to you. Not even George Washington sacrificed so much for our country on Memorial Day Weekend. I here he would just sit around Valley Gorge, grilling hot dogs, drinking lemonade and yelling at his slaves. I would never do that. I hate lemonade.

My first Very Important Letter to my dear friend King Jung Un meant a lot to me and I am sure him, because right after he read it he was already begging to talk to me again. It’s amazing how much we missed each other so fast. It is nice we are developing such a nice, not mean, and caring relationship with each other.

So now I am thinking I might talk to him but we’ll see what happens after I have two or three strategic meetings with Stephen Miller. As you know I am a great deal-maker. Already the world is safer because of what I have done. No missiles have been fired yet which is way more than Obama ever did as you no. He never even wrote one Very Important Letter to the Dear Leader. Think about that folks. Think about that …

And speaking of slaves, I want to impress upon you on this great, great historic weekend how important it is that every football player who lines up to play this great American game stands up and salutes the flag during the National Anthem. There is no more important issue facing our great nation than this one. If football players can’t obey my orders and salute the flag then where are we as a society? I’ll tell you where we are, right back where we were with the awful Obama presidency when everybody did whatever the hell they wanted to do. Nobody has the right to do whatever they want to do in this country except for me, because of all the powers that were investigated on me when I grabbed the bible during the record-breaking inauguration.

On that great, great day I was investigated with the same heirlooms as past presidents like Washington, Lincoln and Franklin. And after the first 18 months of their presidencies none of them had done as much to make this country great as I have. And none of them protected the National Anthem from kneeling, no-good, awful people like I have. NOBODY. They wouldn’t even talk about it. Sure, Lincoln protected the slaves but he let them get way with a lot, too. I bet you they would have been allowed to kneel during the National Anthem back then. I don’t know this for sure but I am pretty sure and I am sure you are pretty sure about this too. So think about that.

I don’t know who these players think they are. They play for all of us, the fans. We are the ones who buy all the tickets and love them when we feel like it. For them to kneel down when the National Anthem is playing is a complete and awful and disgusting disgrace to mankind. Especially to people like me who have done so much for this country. Nobody loves this country more than I do, and don’t you ever, ever forget it. I know you won’t, but it doesn’t hurt for me to remind you every now and then. There’s a Witch Hunt going on in this country right now, so you can never be too sure about anything.

I will be putting a bill together with Stephen that I will spread on the House and Senate floors that makes it illegal to kneel down when the National Anthem is on. Anybody who is caught kneeling during the National Anthem will be thrown out of the country. This goes for everybody but mostly the football players who do it on TV. People like me have put their lives on the line to protect this sacred song and it is the least I can do for people like me. I’m sure you agree.

My father, Fred, used to say to me all the time, “Donny, nobody has ever had the ability to make everything about you like you do. It’s terrifyingly impressive.” Well, as you can imagine, that always meant a lot to me.

Before I head to the golf course for some much deserved time off with my caddie, I just want to thank you for thanking me so much for all I am doing for you. This means a lot to me. I think it could mean a little more but it doesn’t yet. But it will.  Memorial Day is a very, very special occasion where we thank of all the people who died to make me possible. And while I prefer soldiers who choose not to die on the battlefield, I do know you can’t always get what you want.

It is my goal to send soldiers into war who are brave enough not to die or get captured. Until then we remember people like me who have given so much.

Sincerely,

Donald J. Trump

 

 

Written By

destephens

Lived everywhere. Started in Africa, then to America, then to Europe, then ... back to America, which lately seems to pride itself in going back. Almost made it 30 years in print journalism, before it all went bad. Really? Don’t think things are bad, eh? Who’s your new president, pal? How did that happen? Because it all went bad.

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