Angry Trump Uses Important Letter to Say Yer Welcome to Thankful Alabama

Because I have been busy guarding Alabama from hurricanes, striking fear into the Taliban, and dealing with the awful, no-nothing, Secretary of the Exteriors Michael Bolton, I have not written you a Very Important Letter in two weeks.

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Trump Reassures America that Mar-a-Lago Will be Safe From Hurricane

Many, many people have told me that blowing up hurricanes with nuclear bombs is a brilliant idea, and that they can’t believe I could possibly even come up with it. So in the future when we are blowing up hurricanes with nuclear bombs, you can remember who never said it first but could have if he wanted.

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