What if Hillary Clinton had flipped 77,744 votes in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania on November 8, 2016, and became the President of the United States?
How much different would things be?
In the short term, it would have been fantastic, awesome, thrilling and a big damn relief. My health and happiness would have been in the 6-year-old golden retriever range and I wouldn’t have been stumbling around in a daze for months on end. Even better, none of you would even know who I am! But more on that blessed thought in a moment, because right now I am going to type dangerously and posit Clinton’s awful, nail-biting loss might just have been the very best thing for America’s long-term health.
OK, bye … Thanks for reading …
I have probably lost most of you forever now. I get it. But what if you were to stay around for just a minute or two longer to watch as I try to dig myself out of this hole? Come on, you won’t come across entertainment like that just anywhere ya know.
Look, whether you want to admit it or not, Democrats had become fat, happy and dreadfully naive during the eight wonderful, lovely, peaceful years of the Obama Administration. Er, see what I mean?
While the eloquent, thoughtful, graceful man was at the helm of the most important job in the world, the Republicans were busy little bees ripping us up and tearing us apart from the inside out.
While we were gleefully pointing at all the good Obama was doing, Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan’s Republicans were putting the screws to us to the point we couldn’t even get a Supreme Court justice up for nomination through all their laughing and obstructing.
- When Obama came into office the Democrats held 257 Congressional seats to only 178 for the GOP. When he left, the GOP held a 241-194 advantage.
- When Obama came into office the Democrats held a whopping 16-seat advantage in the Senate. When he left they were minus-6.
- When Obama came into office the Democrats held 29 gubernatorial seats, when he left they held 18.
- Obama won the 2008 electoral vote, 365-173.
Somehow we remained pretty giddy about it all, though, especially when the Republicans nominated something called “Donald Trump” to run for president. Haha! Good times! Fat chance! Let’s see how well that goes, you stupid imbeciles! Hahaha!
More than two years later, I still tell people that the only thing Democrats are madder at than the Republicans are themselves. WE let this happen. And, sure, blame the Russians and Facebook and Jill Stein and Bernie Sanders and Pacific Global Steering Currents, whatever … but we had stopped being vigilant long before that awful November day. NOTE: If you were actually out there working hard too get Clinton and the Democrats elected — I mean really working — you should leave this place forever and I am in your debt. But let’s face it, most of us weren’t.
Look, there is not a single doubt in my mind (how could there be after everything we’ve seen?) that Trump, Pence and the First Crime Family worked arm in arm with the Russians to undermine our democracy, and it most definitely did affect the election. I also think the Democratic Congress should go after these anti-American, complicit bastards with everything they got. Because if you can get away with treason, what’s next?
But what if Clinton had won …?
For starters, there would have been no Blue Wave. I’d argue the Red Takeover that started in earnest in 2010 would have been that much more pronounced. If she had won, Clinton would have had at best a precarious hold on the Senate and a dark-red Republican Congress that would not have given her a single inch.
The elections last month would have only filled the red bloodbath to overflowing and what was left of the Democratic Senate would have flipped hard. Given the historically favorable pro-GOP map this year, it is plausible the Republicans could have come away with upwards of an unheard of 20-seat advantage. Congress would have somehow been even worse, and very possibly in the 60-plus range for Republicans. Most of our governors by a wide margin would have been Republicans.
It’s plausible, likely even, there would have been no #MeToo movement or Women’s Marches. Real irony there that the awesome optics of a female president, would have resulted in keeping the doors shut on that powerful, resonate movement most responsible for the recent Blue Wave.
Evidence shows, whether we want to admit it or not, that after Clinton’s historic win we would have giddily dined on the presidency while the Republicans continued to eat our lunch.
Trump would actually have been much more effective on the outside because nobody plays the “woe is me” card any better than he does. He would have immediately formed his own media empire and with help from the Russians or anybody else he could employ would have set about trying to burn it all down. And he would have made billions doing it, which is always his single motivation for anything. I mean besides pure hate.
Meantime, Clinton would have taken the high road with zero capital to spend along the way. After being out of the White House for going on 12 years, Republicans would have stopped at nothing to make sure she was a one-termer, while all the while we snowflakes celebrated our empty wealth.
And what about the #Resistance?
There would not have been one.
It really did take an historic slap in the face to wake us the fuck up. And, buddy, we are wide awake.
We finally see who the Republicans REALLY are and what they stand for. Thanks to Trump’s dog-whistling, the emboldened cockroaches have eagerly crawled into the light. There are so, so many. Millions. But they are much easier to crush when you can see them. This is what the GOP is.
And how many truly great people have you met since that awful night on 2016 — people you would never have known had Clinton won? I mean awesome, smart, dedicated, hard-working, bighearted folks who are hurting like you are and will do anything to make it better?
How hard did you work during these most recent midterms? Did you canvass? Did you make calls? Did you donate money you didn’t really have? Did you run …?
How many marches have you been part of? How often do you think about the state of the country and just how sad and precarious things are right now? How dedicated are you to make sure that what happened in 2016 never, ever happens again?
Look, the old, content me would do literally anything for a do-over of the 2016 election. But the old, content me was wildly naive.
The new me? Wide awake and itching for a fight. Bring it, GOP, but we are taking it all back. Payback is a bitch. WE SEE YOU, and we are feeling stronger and healthier every day.