(EXCLUSIVE: We have obtained the transcripts of what a closed-door meeting between high-ranking Democrats and Robert Mueller would sound like. We are sorry to report there is virtually no offensive language.)
Trump’s performance in the Rose Garden was so pathetic, so unhinged and so completely over the top, a 100-year wilt began and the poor, poor roses needed to immediately be replanted someplace warmer, like Helsinki.
(EDITOR’S NOTE: If we had inside sources, they would have leaked the contents of this Very Important Letter Donald Trump...
Trump should have been some dirt-cheap one-off, who Republicans quickly saw was every bit as dangerous and unfit in action as he had proved over a tortuous campaign to be in words. Bare minimum, they could have proved to be the check on his imbalance and thwarted most of his rotten, incendiary impulses.