Dear White Men,
It’s long past time to start acting like dear white men.
Look, I am writing to us today because I am completely disgusted with us. We make me sick. And I am typing to all of us now, even the ‘good’ guys, because you need to hear this, too. In short, you simply aren’t doing enough to stop the bad ones. And I think you know what I am talking about, fellas …
But while I’m dealing in white heat here, I want to make good and damn sure I keep the flame on the bad ones, and give them something to think about. I’ll get back to you good guys in a minute or two …
To the bastards out there, and I’m sure you know who you are, understand you are the most dangerous, destructive things on earth. If you laughed at that, you proved my point.
Just look at what you are:
- You are almost certainly the one responsible for the mass execution of children in a school.
- You are the one who almost certainly raped that woman.
- You are the one who almost certainly beat that woman or child.
- You are the one who almost certainly committed that act of homegrown terrorism.
- You are the one who almost certainly carried out the unlawful execution of that animal.
- You are most definitely the lowlife at those Nazi or white supremacist rallies.
- You are most definitely the one who ransacks our monetary system for your own personal gain while breaking the rest of us.
- You are most definitely the arsonist who destroys our public lands for your personal gain.
- You are almost certainly a Trump supporter.
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I want you to go fact-check me on all this. Go ahead. I’ll wait … In fact, I want you to get in the habit of fact-checking everything. This is a major part of your big problem: ignorance. You believe literally anything because you think deeply and individually about literally nothing. Worse, lately you have gotten into the habit of playing some kind of victim, which is so weak and so cowardly it’s dripping off you. This is why you project. Go ahead, look that one up, too. I’ll wait …
See? Wild isn’t it? And look, being a snowflake is actually a really, really good thing. When you evolve you’ll see that, too. It’s OK to admit weakness and insecurity, because if anybody is weak and insecure, it is you guys.
Here’s some good news, though, and I suggest you listen: You can evolve, sonny-boys. I did. I was actually a low-test version of you until I stopped acting like a selfish prick.
My problem was that like many of you, I dropped out of high school, lacked a college education and worked hard to pull me and my family up. I figured if I could do it, anybody could, and damn well should. Hard work conquers all! Get on with it, you lazy pieces of shit! Quit being victims! Is this ringing any bells? Anyway, I was literally a billboard for white privilege, but couldn’t read the big letters on the sign that was right in front of me.
Then all of a sudden, my life took a hard turn. Didn’t see it coming. We seldom do. It was mostly a self-inflicted wound, but no matter, I was suddenly upside down staring at a tough, damn world that was pressing down on me. I was on the other side of it all. I needed help. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore, except this: Life can be hard for everybody.
I resolved right then and there to do what I could to give people a hand up who needed it. I resolved right then and there to check my white privilege at the door and always work to see things through the eyes of the oppressed. I resolved right then and there to work hard to never be a prick again.
Twenty-two years later, I give myself a B+ in this endeavor. Could be a generous grade, but, see …? That’s the white privilege bubbling up again. Let’s make it a B instead. And really … just as long as I always make the grade with my wife, two daughters and my wonderful female friends and colleagues who give me my true bearing.
Since we might be connecting a bit, bad guys, I’ll spin you a quick anecdote: I turned the corner in the summer of 1996. That was last time I ever voted for a Republican, except one: Bob Dole. Dole was running against Bill Clinton in the fall of ’96. I still take small solace that I never voted for Bill. This puts me at odds with many people in my ‘new’ party, but they also know I took far greater solace in gleefully voting for Hillary Clinton 20 years later. Bill was a great politician and a pretty good president, but he was not a good man. Hillary is a very good woman, but isn’t the politician her husband is. Irony there and another point-prover.
But back to you, bad guys …
You need to start thinking for yourselves and quit running with all those packs. You need to turn the volume down on your lives. You need to start treating the best among us, our women, with the dignity and respect they deserve. All those “lock her up” chants? Knock it off. You can be better than this and you better be, because here’s a fact: Women are coming. They are smarter than you, more determined than you, work harder than you, are more decent than you, and are tougher than you. The sooner you realize this, the better.
And, really, aren’t you sick and tired of being on the wrong side of history?
OK, before I go, I do want to talk to you good guys real quick. I have a big ask:
The next time you run into one of these bad guys who is acting the fool? Tell him to knock it the hell off. If he still keeps going? Tell him to stop acting like a cheap, ignorant bully. And if that doesn’t work?
Tell him to grow the hell up and start acting like a woman.
