THE WHITE HOUSE
Office of the President
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Tuesday, May 19, 2020
Statement by Me, Donald J. Trump
THE WHITE HOUSE — First, I just want to say thank you to everybody for reaching out to me with your concerns after I said yesterday that I was taking hydroelectricitychloroform. It’s not for everybody, folks, but it certainly is for me — maybe.
As far as I am concerned everybody should take it, but only if you are as fit and buff as I am. Why just this morning I was playing “Pin the Donkey on Stephen’s Tail” with Miller and barely broke a sweat. Stephen even commented how fast I was running around on all-fours for a guy my age.
And just in case you are wondering, Stephen’s beautiful bride is doing much better and was up in bed this morning writing postcards to our proud supporters of our “Nazis R Good People 2” campaign. The work they have done to help liberate this country from the evil, mask-wearing Democrats has meant a lot to me. They could probably do more, but for now they are doing just enough. But let’s see how it goes. I won’t bring up the 2nd Amendment until I have to.
As far as the hetrosexualoxichloroform I might be taking, I just want to push back against the evil, no-good, disgusting, fake media who said I only said that to distract from my work firing Attorney Generals, the stock I have in that and many other drug companies, attacking and attacking and attacking Obama, destroying the disgusting environment, grifting off the Relief Bill to fix up my properties, firing the Postman General, hunting down whistle-blowers, hiding my taxes, killing the awful WHO, and taking no responsibility at all for this Democratic Hoax virus.
But sure, I am taking homogenizedcuriouschloroform. I mean, if that’s where you want to put all your attention, I’m suppose I am fine with it.
Thank you in advance,
Donald J. Trump.
Oh, and if you want to help me raise lots of money please donate to here.