In his Important Letter Monday, Donald Trump defended his wife for wearing runway attire, and thanked the people of Texas for their great support of him during his trying times.
THE WHITE HOUSE
Monday, September 4, 2017, 4:22 a.m.
Happy Labor Day Fellow Revolting Americans!
Before I recognize this important holiday for what it is, I want to take the time to thank everybody who has told me what a great job I am doing heeling Houston. As you can imagine this has been very, very hard on me. But we are doing beautiful things up there, so this makes me very happy, not at all sad. So don’t worry, I am not as sad as I should be. And how about those crowds in Houston, folks?! They made me so happy rowing their boats to see me. That is important. They knew I needed to be happy.
The saddest thing, as you know, is that Obama never even visited Houston once during Katrina, a fact very, very few in the lying, stinking, awful, fake media have reported. I have been to Houston two times now and have scene much more than I need to. But I keep looking anyway. Not because I want to, but because I have been there twice and it would be stupid not to look once I got there. And as you know I’m not that stupid.
I have to say, this week has almost been as hard hard on Melania as it has me. Almost. Leave it to the lying, boring, fake, awful, corrupt media to make a big deal out of the stilettos she was wearing when we were getting on the plane to go to Dallas. So what! Right?! So what!!!!!
Look, her servants told her that she would be on a runway first thing in the morning, so she picked out those shoes, OK? Excuse my French, but anybody with an ass like that would pick out those shoes if they were told they would be on a runway first thing in the morning. Am I right? When she found out it was an airport runway it was too late to change, and frankly, I love those damn shoes on her. She was wearing the same shoes when I first spotted her in that catalogue many years ago … Anyway, she simply dealt with the information she had and made the best decision she could, which frankly is what I do every day making this country great again.
And let’s face it, the lying, fake media is just jealous they don’t look as good as Melania in those heals. So they make a big, fake deal about it. It’s what they do, folks. It’s what they do. Melania did a great job down there, and I thought her FLOATUS hat was very appropriate to the situation, given floating was very important because of all that nasty, yucky water down there.
But today is Labor Day and let me tell you there will be a lot of laboring going on here in Washington the next month or so, as we try to lower your taxes and build the beautiful, terrific wall without shutting down the government. I have great confidence we will get something done on taxes, and get lots of money in the pockets of the rich so they can trickle it down to the people who make far, far less.
As you know by now I don’t pay any taxes — well, maybe a little — because I am smarter than you. This is why you voted for me because you aren’t as smart as I am. I get that, and I applaud you for that. But being stupid AND paying lots of taxes on top of it is just plane mean. So I am going to lower your taxes, but not quite as much as mine and my partners on Wall Street, because if I am paying taxes how can I give you jobs in the coal mines and all the things I think you should have?
For instance, I think most of the people in Houston should want a treadmill. Wow, some big people down there, folks! Yuge! (OK, OK, I admit it, General Kelly told me not to put that joke in this important letter, but let’s face it folks, he is not as funny as me. This is another reason you voted for me, because you have a real sense of humor.)
But God bless General Kelly. My father, Fred, used to say, “Donny, there is no sense in anybody trying to correct you or talk you out of anything, because you have the hardest head I’ve ever seen.”
Well, as you can imagine that meant a lot to me. Who wants to be soft in the head, right?
I think you can see I am in a very good mood today. In fact, I hope to get back on the golf course because as you know I deserve it. Handling all the crisis in Charlottesville and Houston has been very, very hard on me. And then there’s Korea.
Look, who new this would be such a tough problem? I’m told President Franklin used to labor over this problem and just left it the way it is because it was to hard. Then every president just left it the way it is, and I have to deal with it. Just like all the Mexicans who are illegally in this country, which is another yuge, yuge problem.
I really do hope to take their dreams away and will announce something on that tomorrow.
Of course, I still might not do anything on it, though. I know, I told you it would be the first thing I would do on the campaign trail, but I had to say a lot of things to get elected. That is just how it works. I think you understand that. And keep this in mind, I still haven’t shot one person in the middle of the street yet to prove a point. That’s actually amazing when you think about it. All the stress I have been under and I haven’t shot one of you yet.
So if the Mexicans have to stay here a while longer, I hope you’ll take into account what a tough problem this is. And think about this: If President Lincoln hadn’t purchased all that property down there, they wouldn’t be our problem at all. In fact, we wouldn’t even have to worry about cleaning up after that stupid hurricane. It would be Mexico’s problem. I don’t think you’ll see me making any stupid real estate purchases like that one any time soon … I like Lincoln, but he left me with a lot of problems.
General Kelly is telling me I need to wrap this letter up if I am going to make my tee time and construct some tactical tweets to keep you informed throughout the day.
But just one thing: General Kelly is doing a wonderful, beautiful job — way better than Rince ever did. But he in no way is changing my mind about anything I do. I have scene stories in the lying, fake, awful, lousy, bad, not real media about how he is raining me in. Don’t believe it. I am the boss and in charge. Just like you deserve and want. I think my sky-high ratings reflect that.
So I wish you a happy Labor Day and hope you will go to the mall and spend lots money like real Americans do.
God bless the people who are in our country legally,
Donald J. Trump
