A calm, cool Donald Trump addressed the people of Alabama Friday about the importance of supporting the National Anthem and his nuclear war.
THE WHITE HOUSE
Sunday, September 24, 2017, 3:59 a.m.
Dear American Patriots!
First, I just want to say thank you to the great people of Alabama for being so much in awe of me Friday night. I no I talked for a long time but when you are blessed with my vermin skills , it would be stupid, not smart, not to talk for a long time about things that matter to real Americans like the national anthem and the flag.
In the end they are really all that matters. I mean, besides money, which I have a lot of. Perhaps billions of dollars. Though it is hard to tell because I don’t know where all of it is. But that is a cross I have to bear, and I trust all my money is safe and sound somewhere. I know you join me in hoping this because you are great Americans and support me no matter what I do, because you know I am making our country great again. It is literally all I do these days. Think about that, you are enjoying the great lives that I am working so hard to give you. No other president attacked his job like this — not even Franklin. And certainly not Obama, who I think buy now everybody knows was a lying crook and interested in only one thing: spreading peace everywhere, which is terrifically week. Once a country knows you want peace, they think you are week, and most likely will think about attacking you.
My father, Fred, used to say, “Donny, everybody knows you like to whine and argue, so they avoid you every chance they get.” Well, as you can imagine, that meant a lot to me.
But back to Alabama … You know, I don’t think I have given that great a speech since the Boy Scouts rally, which will go down in antipathy. Alabama has always been the home of the free and the brave. That is why great Americans like Jeff Sessions and George Wallace keep coming from there. I know George was a Democrat, but that is when Democrats were braver and stood up for rich, white people who are under attack like never before in this country … It is also why test after test has proven Alabama has the highest rate of education in the country — even hire than West Virginia where I gave that great Boy Scouts speech. Think about that, too.
I no I have a lot on my plate, but I want to dedicate this important letter to the civil rights movement and all I have done for it. Do you think these lazy football players give a damn about civil rights? They only care about themselves. I hate people who only care about themselves. And what kind of idiot goes somewhere and drops to his knees to make a point about something stupid they believe in? I mean good Christians like me would certainly never do this …
And think about all the money these lazy players are making. I mean, it’s not as much money as I make — I mean besides the crappy pay I get as president. As I said I have billions of dollars that I can’t even keep track of. I mean, some of it might be tied up in Russia, sure, but when you have as much money as I do, how can you be sure? So when that liar Roger Mueller comes out with his idiotic, lying report, you can count on me reminding that you that I have so much money I can’t keep track of it. Anybody with as much money as me has that problem. Not that there is that many people like me. None, really.
For all I know I have money in North Korea and Rocket Man is using it to build his failing missiles that might rub out Japan by mistake unless I step in to rescue them. Sorry, I know this important letter was supposed to be about civil rights, but I just I can’t help pointing out all the problems that loser Obama left me. I mean, he had eight years to take out Rocket Man. In only eight months I am about to have a missile duel with him. And we know who will win that one, folks. We have the greatest military in the world and they could care less about fighting a nuclear war. Because they are great and brave like me. We have a lot in common, even though I didn’t serve due to a severe medical condition that I valiantly fought threw and defeated. Now I am stronger than ever, and picking fights with losers like Rocket Man, because Obama was to week too.
But I digest …
I am calling on all the football players to stand up when the National Anthem is playing before their games or they should be fired. The National Anthem is a right not a privilege. It’s a beautiful, powerful song that makes America greater every time it’s played. It’s even better when we salute the flag when it is played because it reminds us that thanks to Obama our military could be in a nuclear conflict any minute and we need to think about that. I was talking to the great General Kelly about this and he agrees 100 percent even if he won’t say so. It is not his job to say so. It is his job to take orders from me, which so far he has done very well. It can’t be easy being a five-star general and taking orders from anybody. But because he knows I am the boss and could fire him at any minute he just does what I tell him to do. Roger Mueller will need to keep this in mind.
So today I want you to think about me and all I am doing for you when you sit down to watch the football games. I want you to think about the military and the war they might have to fight in North Korea. I don’t want you to think about the greedy, lazy, stinking, cowardly players, who won’t be going to the war your children will be fighting. Think about that, folks. Think about that.
-Donald J. Trump
