And listen, Americans, my God, Vlad assured me in Helsinki they had nothing to do with our elections. I told everybody this in a powerful speech I gave while I was over there in Norway. That should have been the end of it right there. But, no, the lying, stinking, fake media had to keep reporting about it so that Mueller wouldn’t ejaculate me.
Now we are holding our breath and tapping our feet, while Trump continues to burn it all down. He doesn’t follow laws, he eviscerates them. He doesn’t tell the truth, he batters it. He doesn’t love this country, he loathes it. It is time to impeach this awful man.
(EDITOR’S NOTE: If we had inside sources, they would have leaked the contents of this Very Important Letter Donald Trump...
Dear God, thank you for delivering Baby Jesus to our doorstep. It is on this day that we remember it didn’t go so great for him which is just Sad!
It makes no sense to go after Trump with impeachment, who, as we saw in November and in these stunning poll numbers, is already badly wounded and hemorrhaging support. Let him continue to die slowly. Let Democrats put a stake through his cold, tiny heart at the polls.
Some people, not a lot, but some people, have criticized me for saying I would have been a good general. I don’t get this. Literally anybody can be a good general. You could be a good general, OK? You just have to want to be good instead of bad. How hard is that?! Can you imagine what the lying, stinking, awful, corrupt, maniacs in the fake media would have said, if I said I would have been a bad general?! Only a moron would have said that. I am not a moron, folks.
Even President Franklin never wrote a letter like this among the other great things he did, like discovering electricity using only a kite. So think about that folks. And thank you.
So Mueller, the crime-fighting, conservative Republican, quietly sealed his envelopes and watched from the sidelines while one of the most important, hotly contested Midterm Elections in history took shape.
Meantime, of course, Trump was thundering across the countryside with all the grace of a 360-pound, sleep-deprived dry drunk looking for love in all the wrong places.
During his powerful visit to meet the Queen of England, the young and powerful Donald Trump was in command throughout...
Donald Trump screams out in pain during this historic handshake with North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un. A Nobel Prize...